Small Girl, Really Big World


Two years of experimental happiness- using sarcastic means and a sure-to-fail and utterly ridiculous self-help book.

Ask me anything

Exercise Aerobically

Day 96

“Zumba teaching white girls to dance everywhere.”

Today’s task was to take an aerobics class.  This task is thought to generate happiness by creating movement and boosting circulation of blood.  To complete this task I decided to take a Zumba class.  Zumba is the new trendy class that incorporates exercise with with today’s pop music to make for a fun and festive enviroment.  I brought my friend Caitie along with me for this little adventure of boosting happiness by dancing the blues away.  During the course of this of this class Caitie and I quickly learned that Zumba is simply not for us.  We also learned just how out of shape we were.  Not only could be not keep up with the instructor we were sweating up a storm and very lightheaded.  By the middle of the class an older woman was helping us keep up until the point we became so lightheaded we decided to leave.  While this class brought many laughs and a great boost of endorphin’s eventually the laughter died and the endorphin’s went away.  Exercise only brings temporary happiness.  While this task did make for some great times with an amazing friend it is not what brings true happiness.  Happiness is not found in what you do.  There will not always be happiness.in life.  Life is full of hard times the point is not to find happiness the point is to find peace and in the peace you will find happiness.  

Zumba

Look Up, Now and Then

Day 95

“Come to me who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.”

Today’s task was to simply look up at the sky.  Take a look at the clouds and just enjoy the colors and shapes.  Today however was an awful day to complete this task.  The sky is nothing but dark, grey and rainy.  

I completely understand where the author is coming from but this is a task that can not be completed daily.  It is a known fact that more people are depressed in the Fall and Winter than in the Spring and Summer.  Due to the simple fact that it’s mostly overcast and grey.  Many counselors and therapists now are recommending at least a few minutes in the tanning bed when you are down to help with depression during these months.  

Last week was an exceptionally hard week for me.  With the skies so rainy and cold and even today the same way I am more on edge.  I am more jumpy and not sure of things.  Looking at the sky is a good technique to bring temporal happiness but just remember the happiness quickly fades with the weather.  Don’t depend on the sky to cure your emotions for it can change quickly.  Depend on Christ for he is steady and never changing.  He is our rock and salvation.  Not the sky or clouds.  Remember He is the one who created them and he is the one that can save you.  Place your hope and worries in him and he will give you strength even in the darkest times when the sun is gone and all hope seems lost.

Sky

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Sprout Seeds

Day 94

“She is standing on a line of giving up and seeing how much she can take.”

Today’s task was to plant seeds.  The book states that planting seeds and watching them grow brings some sort of happiness in your life.  I however don’t have the patience or the time to worry about if the stupid plant is going to grow or not.  Maybe if I did not take 6 classes and work 3 jobs this task would be better but for someone like me I just don’t have time to worry about plants.

Monday Nina and I went to Chapel Hill.  One of the places we stopped to visit was the UNC planetorium where they were selling seeds.  I became excited thinking yes  a nice relaxing day trip and buying seeds all at the same time.  I love being able to do more than one thing at a time.

Today was the first day that I have had time to plant the seeds that I bought.  I quickly realized during this task that I had no idea what to do.  So I did what any good American would do I Googled how to plant seeds.  Once I realized I had to go outside and touch dirt I was quickly turned off by this task and felt quite dirty.  I am not and outdoors kind of girl.  However I completed my task and my little box of dirt and seeds are now sitting outside.  At first I was going to keep it inside but then decided I did not want dirt in my house.

Some people would say gardening makes them happy and to those people more power to you.  I however was just like well that was done let me go and wash my hands.  Happiness is different things to different people.  Not all people are made happy by the same things.  I think what the author of this book needs to understand is that while these things may make you happy it does not mean that they make everyone else happy.  Find what you love and stick to it.  Don’t let other peoples views of happiness affect your own.  You are an individual and no one can tell you what makes you happy.  Only you can make yourself happy.  Happiness is a choice.  Sometimes it’s hard to be happy but just remember you can look back at life and go “man that was miserable” or you can say “yes, this is miserable but I will make it through.”   

plant some seeds

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Find Quiet Happiness

Day 93

“Be Still My Soul, Be Still”

My Blog task for the day was to try practicing Yoga.  Apparently yoga is great for relieving tension and stress and calming the mind.  I however found yoga to be painful awkward and unsuccessful. 

When I found out about my task I became super excited thinking great I can finally take advantage of utilizing my free gym membership that I never use.  My happiness and enthusiasm quickly faded the longer I stayed in my class.  Before class on Monday I went out and bought my entire yoga outfit everything matched even down to my shoes and my mat.  Thinking to myself one must look the part to be successful.  The next thing I did was get my friend Sarah Grace to join me.  There was no way that I was about to embark on this adventure alone.  

When we arrived at the class we quickly realized how out of shape and awful we actually were at Yoga.  Yoga did not bring happiness or inner peace at all.  All I gleaned from this experience is how un flexible and uncoordinated I actually was.  At one point during the course of our class Sarah and I both lost our balance and fell to the ground.  What I learned from this was is if God does not want me to bend a certain way then I am not going to try to.  

Exercising does release stress and tension in the body helping to free pent up anxiety from the day.  It does not however, create inner peace.  Inner peace only comes from Christ Jesus.  So to try and find peace and joy in man made things is quite foolish.  For you will never be satisfied, you will always be longing for something more.  Christ is the only way for lasting peace and joy.   

John 4:13-14 states that “Everyone who drinks of this water shall thirst again.  But whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall five him shall become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.”

This simply stating that through Christ we can have peace and assurance but through earthly things we will never be fully satisfied.

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Cut The Procrastination

Day 92

“A year from now you may wish you had started today.”

Today’s task was to make a decision.  To stop thinking about things and just do them.  I am the person who over analyzes everything and thinks everything to death.  So today was the day for me to make up my mind on something and just do it.

When I was in middle school I saw the movie “Edward Scissor Hands”  for the first time.  I fell in love with the makeup sells lady.  She was so adorable in her little pink outfit going from door to door selling her makeup.  I knew then that is what I wanted to do.  I found out about Mary Kay one day when my mom and I were driving along and I saw a lady driving a pink Cadillac and I thought that was the coolest thing I had ever seen.  My mom explained that, that was a Mary Kay car and that the women sold makeup.  From that day forward I knew I wanted to be a Mary Kay girl too.

Last week my friend Charli invited me to go to a Mary Kay party with her.  I decided that night once I graduated I was going to sell Mary Kay for sure.  It would be easy I already work in a salon.  So I come in contact with people everyday.  However, this idea quickly changed.  Megan the sales representative for  the Mary Kay company invited me to lunch with her and her sales representative Amy.  During the lunch they talked through all of the benefits of joining Mary Kay now.  With the holidays coming up I wouldn’t want to miss out on an opportunity to sell and make a profit.  After thinking it over and thinking about my daily task I decided to join Mary Kay and sell makeup now instead of waiting until January.  

I have to admit this task was good for me.  It helped me realize that sometimes waiting on something is not always a good thing.  When you have an opportunity take it.  What do you have to lose?  This is an adventure that I am willing to start a journey of business making and self discovery to become the best person that I can be during my short time on earth and making the most of every opportunity that comes my way.

mary kay seminar

Stretch Your Brain

Day 91

“One’s mind once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.”

Today’s task was to grow and stretch your mind by playing games such as Sudoku or doing crossword puzzles or any other game that would stretch the human mind. I understand that growing in knowledge is a good thing and that we should never stop striving to learn new things.  However, playing a stupidly ridiculous crossword puzzle is just a waste of time. 

I  want to start things off saying I hate crossword puzzles.  I remember being in elementary school and teachers making crosswords sometimes part of our assignments.  Even then I hated them.  So then you ask, “Kaylen, why don’t you just play another game like Sudoku or something?”  Well, good question but I don’t know how and I really don’t care to learn.  These games are a waste of perfectly good time.  If you want to expand your mind, I don’t know go read a book.

This task was a complete and total waste of time just proving the ridiculousness mindset of if I play I crossword I will be happy.  No, you are wrong happiness is an emotion depending on the circumstances in life.  You will not always be happy, bad things will happen and a crossword puzzle will not change that.

Personalized crossword puzzles

Be Active Often

Day 90

“You know all those things you’ve always wanted to do?  You should go do them.”

Today’s task was to do something that I have been neglecting to do for a while.  I have lot’s of things on my list of things to do.  Many of those things I just simply do not wish to do.  

Nina and I have been saying that we need to go on a day trip for a while but keep pushing off because we are both insanely busy.  Between Nina working two jobs and traveling most of the summer and me taking 3 classes and working around 60 hours a week there hasn’t been much time to do anything but work and sleep.  

Today Nina and I decided to go on a roadtrip.  We left the house at 7:30 this morning  to start the day off with an adventure.  The city we decided to explore was Raleigh we live about 15 minutes outside of the city and we thought it would be fun to learn about the city we live so close to.  Taking the scenic route from Wake Forest we arrived at our first destination which was Jordan Lake where we went looking for the Bald Eagle, which we did not see.  Afterwards we grabbed lunch visited many museums, stopped for ice cream, them went shopping.  Ending the day at Pullen Park where we took a picture with the Andy Griffith Statue then 11 hours later headed home.

Visiting all of the local places around Raleigh was a great adventure, just being able to spend the day exploring and learning about our amazing city was great.  It gave us time to get away and clear our heads while still being close enough to home that we could be home by around 6:30.

Making yourself complete things on your to do list can be hard sometimes.  I feel like no matter how hard I work at getting it completed the list still goes on and on. However, marking things off of the list is quite liberating.  I am glad Nina and I were able to make time to finally take a break and focus on just having fun and relaxing for once.  We stay so busy that we never have time for anything.  This task was good to help us regain focus on things that needed to be done and motivate us to work to complete other things on the list as well, like paint my room and email Dr. Williams.  Making lists are good, just make sure however that you don’t become so consumed with making the list it’s all you ever think about and do.  Find the balance between structure and freedom.  And just live life.  Have fun, explore, be adventurous, while still making time for the responsibilities that come our way as well.

Have Your Say

Day 89

Today’s task was to take a stand against something in government that you do not approve of.  Politics for the most part I try to stay out of.  My sister Kanon is the one would could debate for hours about what is going on in the country but for me I avoid conflict at all cost.  Finding something to take a stand against was quite difficult for me.  I don’t really pay attention to the news that often. 

The main topic I keep hearing about is the new Obamacare act that has just been voted into effect.  The biggest debate I keep hearing about is it’s unconstitutional, we as a nation can’t afford it, and we need less government.  On the other side of things the biggest argument is everyone deserves the right to healthcare.  I agree with the argument everyone deserves the right to public healthcare.  My question is however but at what cost?  

When I think about things that take affect in my life I always wonder about the cost.  The cost for public healthcare is simply not affordable in our society.  As a nation we have accumulated trillions of dollars in debt that we have still yet to pay off.  We are still funding a very expensive war and still owe many countries money.  The question should not be what new programs should be impose to make the lives of our citizens easier the question should be how can we cut spending, pay off our debt, and become a stable society so we can further the longevity of our thriving country.  Not to mention we were a nation built on government in the hands of the people not the government controlling the people.  If this is the case then why is the government mandating that we as American citizens have to have healthcare. The government should not have the right to tell me if I need health care or not.  The government was only established to protect and defend and maintain order to society not to get involved in the everyday life of it’s citizens.

After thinking this task through I decided to sign a petition to repeal the healthcare laws that have been voted into place.  Knowing that petitions over big office voting normally don’t work I decided to do my part as an American citizen anyway and take a stand.  

Obamacare

Enjoy Your Own Company

Day 88

“Without adequate alone time you may begin to feel worn out.”

Today’s task was to get away from the busy world for a while and enjoy being alone.  Spending alone time with yourself can be a good thing, it gives you time to  get away and clear your head.  However, you have to be careful not to spend to much time alone that you get lost in your thoughts and start over analyzing everything to the point of insanity.

Yesterday, I had to work an 11 hour shift at Mitchell’s to make up for the time I had off at the beginning of the week.  By the time 4 PM rolled around I was just ready to leave that place.  Being stuck in one place for that long will drive anyone to insanity. It’s not that anything bad was happening or I wasn’t staying busy I simply was tired of feeling confined to one space surrounded by people.  I thought that this would be the perfect time to just get away and be alone.

After walking to Chik-Fil-A I walked outside where I saw Heather one of the girls that I work with sitting at a table reading her book.  I decided to go and sit at the table next to where she was reading.  Knowing that she would not notice my presence for quite sometime since she was so engulfed in her book.  Sitting quietly enjoying my lunch and listening to the sounds around me I have to say was quite nice.  

I am naturally a loner more of an introvert when I am around people for to long I tend to get stressed me out.  The constant fear of silence that people have so they keep talking just overwhelms me at times.  Being able to go and sit next to someone like Heather today and not feeling like we have to say a word is nice.  It’s nice not feeling like I have to entertain someone while I am in their presence.  

Getting away from the world and being alone can be a good thing.  Just make sure your not spending so much time alone that you are hurting yourself.  I have to at times force myself to be around people.  To go out and be social is sometimes a very hard thing for me to do.  If I don’t however I sit alone over thinking about things that should be left in the past.  Finding a balance in life is the key to everything.  Going out and having fun, surrounding yourself with great people are all wonderful things, but sometimes just getting away and clearing your mind is the best thing that you can do.  As long as your are not spending to much time away from the rest of the world.

Alone Time

Stop Micro-Managing

Day 87

Today’s task was to stop feeling like you have to be in control of everything in your life and in other’s lives as well.  I don’t really have a problem with feeling I need to control the lives of others around me.  I do however feel the need to keep my life on a perfect schedule I wake up around 6 or 7 and am in bed by 12 and everything else is scheduled in between.

I struggle with Anxiety disorder so the easiest way I have to keep myself from going into panic attack mode is to keep myself on a schedule.  I am not one to love surprises they tend to stress me out quite a bit.  I decided today that I would complete my task throwing my schedule out the window and let Melinda plan everything.    All I did was invite people to dinner if they came they did if they didn’t so be it and I don’t care if the seating is off it will be okay.  The seating ended up being off by one but it was fixable just add a chair and the night went smoothly.  Melinda chose the when we would meet up, that we were eating at Chili’s , drove, and called Maddie to keep her updated when we would arrive.

Letting other people plan makes things simple.  Clearing my schedule and just going along for the ride made it nice to just sit back and relax enjoying good food and fabulous friends.  Micro-managing your life is not always a bad thing keeping some form of order is good way to keep organized and follow through with tasks that need to be done throughout the day.  However when the list takes over our lives or we feel the need to tell others how to live their lives successfully it can become a problem.  Don’t over organize and worry about your life maintain a heathy balance of structure and flexibility.  Also, don’t feel the need to interfere into the lives of others you have enough things to accomplish on your own.

Don't Panic, Organize